Your Bubble Is Lying to You. Burst It.

Perceptions flow, attraction shifts, and the only way forward is to stop clinging to illusions and start playing in the river.

Intro

Life is not static. You are not static. Perceptions change. Attraction changes. The world changes, whether you want it to or not. The river keeps flowing, and you never step into the same water twice.

When I first came to Asia, I wasn’t particularly drawn to Asian women. I thought my type was firmly Western. Fast-forward a few months of living here, and suddenly I found myself turning my head, noticing details, finding beauty I never looked twice at before. Familiarity plays tricks on you, stare at the same faces long enough, and your brain starts whispering, “You know what, I kind of like this.”

That’s not just dating. That’s life. Your perceptions will shift whether you admit it or not. Which means clinging to old beliefs, outdated metrics, or the standards someone else told you to follow is a guaranteed way to stay stuck. Marriage is "one of them".

Familiarity Is a Strange Beast

The barista you’ve seen every morning for the past three months? She wasn’t your type on day one. By week six, you’re low-key wondering what her smile would look like across a dinner table. That’s familiarity. Our brains are designed to warm up to what’s repeated.

And yet, people beat themselves up for their shifting tastes. They’ll say, “I must be shallow” or “Why can’t I stick to one type?” Wrong frame. Shifting attraction is normal, even healthy. Familiarity is an amplifier. It makes ordinary faces magnetic, everyday gestures intoxicating.

Apply that to relationships: people think they’re failing because they don’t feel fireworks every morning. But most relationships — about 70% — end within the first year. The game isn’t about clinging to the first spark. It’s about whether you can adapt as the perception of your partner changes, and whether you can create new layers together.

The Trap of Metrics and Comparison

Here’s where it gets messy. Society sells you metrics. Instagram sells you comparisons. The “system” makes you believe that if your relationship doesn’t look like a romantic vacation slideshow, it’s broken.

Reality check: most of those glossy couples are fighting over text before the cocktails arrive. What you see is staged. What you feel is real.

Comparing your relationship to someone else’s is like comparing your Tuesday-night poker game with a guy posting his casino jackpot win. Same activity, different context, wildly different outcome. One is reality, the other is highlight reel.

And the worst part? People blame themselves for not hitting imaginary benchmarks. They forget that nobody has the full dataset. You don’t know how often that “perfect couple” sleeps in separate bedrooms. You don’t know how many relationships collapse after the honeymoon period. You don’t know how much of what you admire is built on lies.

Stop comparing. You are not them. They are not you. And their metrics mean nothing.

Accepting Change and Rewriting Stories

Change is inevitable. The only decision you get to make is whether you embrace it or resist it. Most people resist. They overanalyze the past, replay old arguments in their heads, and ask “What did I do wrong?”

Here’s a simpler truth: you don’t need to explain every breakup. You don’t need to justify every rejection. Sometimes you just need to rewrite the story and move forward.

That girl who ghosted you wasn’t your downfall. She was background noise in your highlight reel. A footnote, not the plot. Don’t waste your energy decoding her behavior like it’s a lost manuscript. Write the next chapter instead. And never forget; a lot of people are simply not aware of why they do what they do.

Bubble-Breaking and New Surroundings

Growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. It doesn’t even happen in your city, half the time. It happens when you step outside your bubble and expose yourself to people, cultures, and energies that don’t play by your old rules.

Leave behind a culture heavy with dogma, judgment, and constant questions about when you’ll marry or settle down. It’s exhausting. In Asia, especially in Thailand, I found something else: chill, easygoing, playful people who actually enjoy life. Instead of “When are you marrying?” the question is more like “Want mango sticky rice?” and honestly, that’s the energy I want around me.

But bubble-breaking isn’t just about travel. It’s about simplicity. The more you complicate your life with overthinking, the more stuck you become. The real growth comes when you stop giving a fuck. Stop chasing every metric. Simplicity is freedom, and freedom is the soil where self-discovery grows.

Polyamory and the Role of Abundance

Let’s zoom out. Attraction isn’t just personal, it’s cultural. And if you want polyamory to thrive, abundance has to be real for both men and women.

A masculine, calm, unbothered frame flourishes when men have options. But polyamory only thrives when both sides feel abundance. If one gender feels scarcity, the game collapses into manipulation and resentment.

So how do you know if you’re in the right society or location for your polyamorous needs? Look for these signs:

• Abundance Check: Do you feel wanted? Are people curious and open, or guarded and scared?
• Drama Levels: Is attraction playful, or is it draining and toxic?
• Freedom Factor: Can people flirt, connect, and express desire without cultural punishment?
• Mindset Vibe: Are people laughing easily, or are they judging hard?
• Role Clarity: Are gender roles acknowledged, balanced, and respected, or are they weaponized?

If you find abundance, freedom, and alignment, you’ve found a society where polyamory isn’t just possible, it thrives. If not, you’re playing with weights on your ankles.

Free Mind, Loose Living

All of this boils down to the same thing: freedom of mind. Can you be alone all day and not feel lonely? Can you walk barefoot and laugh at the dirt on your feet? Can you work with ruthless focus or dance to loud music until dawn, and know both are part of the same balanced life?

“No one is with you, until you are with you.” That’s the mantra. You cannot borrow wholeness from anyone else. And even when you’ve mastered it, remember; nobody is real to you except you.

Loose living doesn’t mean careless. It means unbothered. It means you can eat garbage street food one day and caviar the next, and your composure doesn’t change. It means you act loose, so you can get loose. Playful, flexible, grounded.

That’s not a weakness. That’s a superpower.

Fun Takeaway Line

Life is a river. Stop measuring the drops and start swimming.

FAQs

Q: Why do my attractions change over time?
Because perceptions shift with exposure. Familiarity breeds attraction. What once felt foreign becomes magnetic when it’s part of your daily reality.

Q: Should I compare my relationship to others?
Never. You’ll be comparing your raw footage to someone else’s highlight reel.

Q: How do I know if my society supports polyamory?
Look for abundance, freedom, and low-drama connections. If attraction feels like pulling teeth, you’re in the wrong bubble.

Q: Isn’t “not giving a fuck” reckless?
No. It’s strategic. Simplicity reduces noise. The fewer fucks you give, the freer your mind and body become.